It’s my birthday!

I have been thinking about starting this blog for quite awhile but I kept putting it off.  Cold feet at 95 degrees, go figure.  My feet are still cold but I am jumping in anyway.  Happy Birthday to me!  Here is my first post:

Today is my birthday.  And I am feeling cranky.  What I really want to do is go outside, wearing long sleeves and not sweat. Breathe crisp air.  Look at leaves changing colors.  Kick through piles of crunchy leaves.  Even rake leaves.  But I can’t.  I live in the still insanely hot desert southwest.  And I am not happy about it.

I thought about going up the Catalina Highway to Mt. Lemmon in search of autumn, but  going up to 8000’ to only get down to 85 degrees isn’t going to cut it.  Not today.

So now I am sulking.  My 5 year old is not helping matters.  Me: Do you want to go out to lunch?  E: No.  Me: Do you want to go to the library?  E: No.  Me: Do you want to make popcorn and watch the original “Flipper” movie?  E: No.

So here I sit, feeling trapped and unhappy without a clue as to what to do about it.  I read through some of the blogs I periodically check for happiness pointers.  Nothing.

I have been struggling with living in the southwest the whole 3 ½ years I have been here.  Some days are better than others.  I try and keep my focus on all the things I have to be grateful for.  Lets face it; running water and access to ice cream 24/7 are not things to be sneezed at.  Seriously, I know I have a very good life and there is much to love about it.  Just to be clear, I am not taking all I have for granted.  I am whining, very unattractive I know.

Just for today though I am going to give in and be sad.  I am going to allow myself to pine for autumn weather, a house with a front porch and maple trees.  I am going to dream about hearty soups and apple tarts and burrowing under heavy blankets.

I am not going to appease myself with ineffective fixes.  No turning the A/C way up and drinking hot tea under an afghan.  No perfuming the room with apple or pumpkin scents.  No putting up silk autumn leaves in all the windows.  I will save those treats for tomorrow, when I am done wallowing.  But maybe today I should go get a pumpkin blizzard?  Just a small one?

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